


it’s not gay if you don’t realize you’re gay, right?

by dame_de_la_chance



Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Bisexual Dustin Henderson, Bisexual Steve Harrington, Coming Out, F/M, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Internalized Homophobia, Jonathan’s bi too, M/M, Multi, Sexuality Crisis, cause fuck you, im rubbing my bi hands on every character I see, its the 80’s..., lmao Steve figures out he’s bi because of robin, others are mentioned - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-16
Updated: 2019-07-16
Packaged: 2020-06-29 11:03:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,544
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19828834
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dame_de_la_chance/pseuds/dame_de_la_chance
Summary: Steve figures out he’s bisexual after a bit of prodding from Robin, and learns that the community is a bit bigger than he thought.





	it’s not gay if you don’t realize you’re gay, right?

He stared out of the glass doors, watching the two figures dance past. They were a couple, young and excited to be reunited, clearly on a date as they held hands and swung them back and forth, sharing a cone of ice cream. It made something inside his stomach unfurl, something slimy and cold, and he desperately wanted to look away, but he didn’t.

He stared at the two, watching as Nancy Wheeler whispered a joke to Jonathan Byers, and the two giggled under the cloudless sky. Nancy’s hair glowed in the soft afternoon sun, lighting up like a halo, her lips twisted into a beautiful smile. Jonathan was holding a hand to his mouth, covering his lips like he always did, as if he was embarrassed of his smile. A shame, because he did have a cute grin.

Steve paused. Huh?

He shook his head and glanced back at the counter, tapping his fingers on the VHS tape he was supposed to be putting away after it was returned. But no, he got distracted by a flash of familiar curls, a twirl of a pretty pink dress, of broad shoulders and a lanky build.

He rubbed his face, and went back to staring out the window. The two were not planted right in front of the window, chattering idly, still swinging their arms as they spoke. 

“Oh don’t sulk Steve,” Robin chastised. “It doesn’t look good on you at all.”

“I’m not on the mood, Robin,” he muttered, not daring to move his eyes away from the couple. He wasn’t sure what he was feeling as he watched. Jealousy? A little, he was certain about that. Longing? Very possible. The problem was, he wasn’t sure what he was jealous and longing over.

“Are you ever in the mood?” He listened to her footsteps, and felt her head lean over his shoulder, not touching him but hovering just slightly, trying to see what he’s staring at. “Come on. I thought you were over her.”

“I am!” He was! “I’m just... watching.”

He didn’t need to see the unimpressed expression she was giving him; he could feel it. “You’re pining.”

“No!” He snapped his attention from the couple back to Robin. Her arms were crossed and her lips pursed in a tight frown. “I am not pining over Nancy! I’m not!”

“Yeah, sure, and the sky is lime green too, huh?” She sighed. “If you’re not pining, then pray tell, what do you feel when you look at them?”

He frowned, rubbing his cheek. What did he feel? “Jealous... but not of Johnathan.... just what they have. And like, sometimes I’m jealous of Nancy, but like, I don’t know why. And yeah, maybe a little attraction. And longing. But not like, longing to break them up or anything, because they are a cute couple, and both of them are cute in general and I guess cute people make cute couples and so they should stick together, but...”

He wasn’t really sure where he was going with this. He trailed off, watching Robin’s expression. She seemed to be going through the five stages of grief, before her eyes lit up. She glanced around, as if searching to make sure the coast was clear; it was. The store was dead, and Keith had left for the day.

“Oh my god, Steve.” She looked thrilled, and that alarmed him. She was only usually this excited when it meant something would cause him pain. “Steve, you’re in love with Nancy and Jonathan.”

He titled his head. “I don’t think I heard you right. Did you just say I love Nancy and Jonathan?”

“Buddy, pal, friend.” She slung her arm on his shoulder, pulling him close to her. “You’re jealous of Nancy. You just called both of them cute. You were staring at Jonathan’s muscles for ten minutes with, what I would call, love sick eyes. You still love Nancy too.”

“I’m not- I’m not in love with them-“ He couldn’t believe she was suggesting that! “I mean, sure, he’s objectively pretty, and he has a great personality, and I like his sense of humour, and I admire him, but I’m not attracted to him. I just have a deep respect for him, and sometimes I feel butterflies in my stomach when I see him, but that’s only because they’re like, respectful butterflies, not nervous crush butterflies.”

Robin was staring at him. Shit. Shit, what the fuck was he even saying? Respectful butterflies? The fuck did that even mean?

Sure, he felt himself blush when Jonathan touched him, and yeah, the guy was very attractive, but any straight man could tell you that. And maybe Steve did stare at his muscles, but it was out of admiration, not puppy dog love and-

“Holy fuck,” Steve whispered. “Maybe I do like him.”

“I believe what your feeling is called a ‘bisexual awakening’,” Robin tosses out. “Can’t blame you. I’m a lesbian and I gotta say, Jonathan is conventionally attractive.”

Steve slammed his head against the counter. “What’s that mean?”

“Bisexual?” He nodded, his face sliding against the surface of the counter. “It means that you’re attracted to two or more genders.”

“Two or more genders?”

“Yeah. There’s more than two genders. Some people identify as genderqueer or nonbinary, which means they don’t see themself as entirely male or female. Some people feel like male and female, some people feel like neither, and some people feel their gender fluctuate.” She said that with such ease, and Steve believered her. She knew more about this shit than he did, of course. “I can explain this later, but right now, we’re focusing on what bisexual means.”

“So people can like boys and girls?”

“Hell yeah!” She slapped his back. “Keith is bisexual!”

“What?!”

“Yeah. He has a preference for girls, but he likes guys too.”

“You can have a preference?”

“Totally. Not all attraction is split evenly. Some people like guys more than girls, or girls more than guys, but that doesn’t make them any less bi.”

Steve felt like his head was going to explode. He was still stuck on the concept that people didn’t have to choose, let alone all of this new information. “Holy shit.”

“And you, my friend, are bisexual.” She shrugged. “To be honest, I had a feeling you were. You’ve been ogling some of the guys that come in here.”

“I have not!”

“Oh, yes you have!” She rolled her eyes. “May I remind you of that time you knocked down the Princess Leia cutout because a cute boy tapped you on the shoulder.”

“I was startled!”

“You literally watched him walk up to you, and you only nearly took off Leila’s head when he started talking to you.”

Shit. The guy was kinda cute...

Steve rubbed his face again. “God damn it, I hate it when you’re right.”

She winked. “Then you must hate me all the time.”

He’s definitely going to need some time to process this.

A few days later and Steve found himself sitting on the front porch of the Henderson household, sipping on a Capri sun with such an intensity Dustin was watching him with a nervous expression.

“If you suck too hard, you might end up swallowing that thing.” He took a sip of his pouch and kicked the steps. “What the fuck’s got you so anxious?”

Steve sighed. “Nothing. Just work, I guess.”

“Bullshit.” He drew out the bull part, nudging Steve with his elbow. “I know there isn’t shit going on at your work. There never is. I’m like, your only fucking customer. You can’t pull shit over me, Harrington.”

Steve felt like he ought to chastise the amount of cursing, but he didn’t. It usually meant Dustin was stressed. Cursing gave him power, it made him feel all grown up, and Steve didn’t want to be all mother hen and make him uncomfortable.

“Hey, are you alright?” He watched him carefully. Dustin cursed a lot, but that had been excessive.

Dustin squinted at him. “You’re switching topics!”

“I’m being nice!”

“You’re avoiding my question!”

“You’re avoiding mine!”

“Because you’re avoiding mine!”

Dustin swatted Steve’s shoulder, and Steve pulled the kid into a headlock. He started to noogie his head, messing up his hair as he let out shrieks.

“Let me go, damn it!”

“Not until you tell me what’s up!”

“Only if you tell me what’s up with you!”

Steve hesitated, and that was enough for Dustin. He broke out of the headlock and quickly pushed himself back so Steve couldn’t yank him back. They sat there, staring at each other, a battle of will.

Steve broke first. He always did, because fuck, he’d never be able to resist the kid. “Shit. Let’s call a truce. I’ll tell you my problem if you start.”

Dustin sighed. “Fine, fine. But if you’re bullshitting me-“

“I’m not!”

Dustin remained quiet for a little while, picking at the chipping paint. It wasn’t unusual for Dustin to be quiet- he often let himself observe before interacting, even with his friends- but it was weird to see him this somber.

“Well, Suzie and I broke up.” He kicked the ground. 

“What? Why?”

Dustin eyed him for a moment. “She didn’t agree with me on something that was really important to me.”

“Like?”

“What’s your problem?” Dustin took an obnoxiously long sip of his Capri Sun. “I told you mine, now share your woes.”

Steve faltered. He hadn’t thought this through. Gay shit was a lot easier to talk about with Robin, because she was gay. She couldn’t judge him, because she was apart of that community, had introduced it to him. But now he was opening up to someone else who wasn’t apart of that community, who might not be comfortable with his possible lifestyle. And he’s not even sure if he’s actually bi. What if he blows everything and its all for nothing?

“Hey, calm down.” Dustin rubbed his shoulder blade, trying to be comforting. “I can see you losing your shit over there. Don’t worry. Whatever you have to say, I won’t laugh or make fun of you or any shit.”

Dustin didn’t lie. Not to him. And on the rare occasion where he does lie, he was really fucking terrible at it. And Steve could see the genuine concern dripping from him, could see the honesty in his eyes. Steve hates being sappy, but damn, that nearly made him cry.

“Well...” Dustin isn’t going to fucking hate him. They have a bond, they’re practically like brothers. And he’s friends with Will, who might be gay, and everyone kind of knows that, so he’s probably pretty open minded. It’s fine. It’s fine.

Dustin handed him another Capri Sun and waited patiently. Steve stabbed his drink a bit too aggressively. He shouldn’t be so nervous.

“Robin said that I have a crush on Nancy and Jonathan, and I think she’s right because I am really attracted to both of them.”

He said it all in one breath, and gulped in air after he did. It felt like a weight had been lifted off his chest. Is this what Robin felt like after coming out to him?

Dustin was quiet for a moment, sipping softly. Steve tried not to take that the wrong way, because that’s just how Dustin was- he’d learn something new, and he’d let it soak in.

“Damn. It’s about fucking time,” Dustin finally stated.

“The hell are you taking about?”

“I was wondering when you’d finally figure out you were pining after both of them.” 

Steve nearly spat out his juice. “What?”

“Come on Steve. Like, the whole school knows you’ve got a thing for Jonathan. You’re not subtle.”

Steve wanted to crawl under a rock and die there. “Oh my god.”

Dustin took a thoughtful sip, before adding. “I guess this makes you bisexual, huh?”

Steve snapped his attention towards him. “What- how do you know that word?”

Dustin squinted at him. He didn’t phrase that right, but Dustin didn’t acknowledge it. “Because I’m bi too.”

Steve froze in place. For the second time in less than three days, he’s pretty sure his mind has short circuited. “What?”

“I’m bi too,” Dustin repeated, slowly, like he was explaining this to a child. “I dig girls and guys.”

“Really?”

“Oh yeah.” He ran his fingers through his hair. “Please, at summer camp, I wasn’t going to be selfish and not share myself.”

This was quickly diving into something Steve was becoming vaguely uncomfortable with. “How’d you figure it out?”

“Well, it was about a year ago.” He tapped his chin. “I had a crush on Max, you know, but then I realised maybe I was actually jealous of her. Because she and Lucas hooked up. And I was like holy shit, I have a crush on Lucas.”

“Do you still?”

“Eh. It comes and goes.” He took an obnoxiously long sip of his drink and Steve hit his arm. “I’m pretty sure I’ve crushed on, like, every one in my friend group. You see who I hang out with. How could I not?”

Steve laughed. “Of course.”

“It’s actually why Suzie broke up with me.” He bit his lip. “‘Cause I’m bi. I told her, and, well... it didn’t end nicely.”

Steve wrapped an arm around him and pulled him closer. It reminded him of when Robin did the same thing before breaking the news to him that he is, in fact, bisexual. “Dude, that fucking sucks.”

“Yeah, well, it sucks for her.” He crushes the drink in his hand. “I’m a fucking catch.”

“You sure are, super stud.”

“Now, about you.” Dustin was grinning, dangerously, and Steve did not like the sudden attention. “How do we set you up with both Nancy and Jonathan?”

“Wait- no. Dude, we can’t do that shit.”

“Why not?”

Steve struggled with an answer. “Three people can’t date each other.”

“If two boys can date, and two girls can date, then why not?”

Shit. He’s got him there. “What if Jonathan doesn’t swing that way?”

“He does.” Dustin snickered at Steve’s expression. “Will told me when I told him I was bi. He was trying to give me, like, a role model or something if I had questions. If I wanted more info on being bi, then I should talk to Jonathan. I never did, but it was nice to know there was someone else like me.”

Steve faltered. Shit. “Well, we’ll cross that road when we get there.”

Dustin sighed. “Yeah, I bet. It’s a matter of if we’ll even get there.”

“Oh, shut up.” Dustin laughed, and the two sipped on another Capri Sun. Steve sat there, swinging his legs, and he doesn’t think he’s ever felt happier. It was nice to know that there were people like him, like Dustin had said. It was nice being a part of a community of love. 

It was nice being bisexual.

Not everyone’s going to be accepting, as Dustin had learned. And Steve knows he can’t share this with everyone. But maybe that will change in the future. 

He glanced back at Dustin, who was blowing up his pouch, and smiled. He hoped it would change either for him, or by him. Probability both.

**Author's Note:**

> everyone’s bi and you can’t stop me
> 
> Come on after season 3’s beautiful Steve & Dustin bro relationship I’m really craving more and no one else is delivering. Have to do things myself


End file.
